Why Confession Helps You Overcome Addiction: Level 3 Begins

There's a man in John chapter 5 who had been sick for thirty-eight years. He's lying by a pool in Jerusalem called Bethesda, where people believed the waters could heal you, if you could just get in at the right moment. He never could. Somebody always beat him to it.

Then Jesus walks up and asks him a question that sounds almost strange at first:

"Do you want to be well?"

Think about that. The man's been lying there for nearly four decades: of course he wants to be well, why else would he still be there? But Jesus doesn't ask dumb questions. Thirty-eight years is a long time to build a life around being not-healed. A long time to get used to people bringing you food. A long time to have an excuse ready for why you never got up. I don't think Jesus was confused about the answer. I think He was making the man say it out loud, making him actually want something he'd stopped fully wanting, because wanting it for thirty-eight years and getting nothing had cost too much.

I think Jesus is asking you the same question today.

Welcome to Level 3

I confess and pray in community to begin healing.

Not "I feel sorry in private." Not "I resolve to do better on my own." Confess, out loud, to other people. And pray, together, not just alone in your room with the lights off, promising God you'll try harder this time.

Benefit #1: Confession is how you're healed

"Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed."

Notice it doesn't say "that you may be forgiven." Why?

Because sin isn't just personal guilt before God. Sin is brokenness. It shows itself in addictions, in the negative loop running in your head at 11pm, in insecurity and boredom with your life, in wanting connection so much you'd gladly take fake connection just to feel loved.

You've confessed to God, maybe many times, and you've been forgiven if you've trusted Jesus. But there are men, and you might be one of them, who've been forgiven, yet are having a hard time being healed.

Why confession to real men matters

You can white-knuckle your way into stopping something for a while. But stopping isn't the same as being healed. If a man said, "I want to be well, but I refuse to take the medicine God prescribed," you'd know immediately something wasn't adding up. That's exactly what it sounds like when a guy says, "I want to be free of this, but I'm not going to confess it to another man." He's saying: I want to be forgiven, but I'm afraid to be healed.

I have a friend, a pastor, who did this right. He got sick of being stuck as a "porn again Christian" and went to men with real authority in his life, other pastors, men he respected, and confessed. I was in the room. It was real, thorough, and raw. Today, he's not just "not doing it anymore." He's well.

I was actually appointed as one of the men to walk with him afterward. We've talked and prayed together on the phone dozens of times since. I talked to him this afternoon and asked him to pray for me while I was making this.

That's what this looks like. Not perfect or painless. But when real men make real confession and pray real prayers with real faith, God meets them there with healing power. That's how He's decided to dispense it.

If you're already in a relationship like that, keep going, and know why it's working. If you're not yet, get into a recovery group or a group from your church. Do it now.

Because here's the question again: do you want to be well?

So do I. Let's keep going.

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This is Day 17 of Victory Over Pornography. Continue to Day 18 →